Harsh Reality

I cannot truly fail unless I give up and quit. Therefore, my greatest enemy is me.

When I walk into a bookstore or library and see how many books there already are in the world (and I know what I'm seeing in front of me is but a glimpse of the true reality), I often get overwhelmed. What the hell am I doing? The last thing the world needs is yet another book. Written by me, of all people.

And yet...

Think about the last book you read that you really loved. What if the author of that book hadn't written it? What if he or she had focused all his or her efforts on becoming a doctor or a lawyer or a shoe salesman instead? Think of the hours of enjoyment you would have missed out on!

Lots of people are capable of selling a particular pair of shoes. But nobody else in the whole world can tell the particular stories that live inside my head. If I don't tell them, they will never be told.

Not everyone will read my book. No doubt fewer still will love it. But some will. For some, my unique voice will encounter their unique heart, and there will be that thrill of recognition between kindred spirits. A bond will be formed. Will that make all my labor and heartache worthwhile? For me it will.

But what if I don't make it that far? What if I spend the rest of my life writing novel after novel, and one after another they end up in a drawer or a box somewhere, never to see print at all? Will I have failed?

Fellow author Joe Konrath has said, "There's a word for a writer who never gives up - published." My gut tells me he's right. I hope he's right. Because I'm not going to quit. Screw the career I might have had, if I focused on something else. This is what I do.

Even if he's wrong - heaven forbid! - and none of my books are ever published, I still won't have failed. I will have spent my life following my heart and doing what is most important to me.

There are worse fates.

My Intentions Were Good -- So Why Am I In This Handbasket?

When I started this blog, I was very excited about it. I was bursting with ideas. Then I suddenly realized something: people are going to read this. People I know, strangers -- people.

It could be argued that I knew this all along. That is, after all the point, right? It's not like it came as a surprise. More like the realization suddenly sank in. And I panicked, a bit.

My reaction could perhaps best be described as a flashback, of sorts. I've spent most of my life trying very hard to be invisible. It's how I survived my difficult childhood. But though this strategy served me well when I was a child, as an adult I have come to realize that it's holding me back. Among other things, if I react this way to doing a blog, what will happen when I finally see my very own novel in print? Will I have a complete nervous breakdown? What fun would that be?

So I'm back. If I have to keep telling myself it's okay, and make soothing little noises to myself, and eat extra ice cream and chocolate to cope, so be it. Because I'm in training. I'm taking small steps now to get ready for the day when I have to go out there and do a book tour. Preparing for the day when a total stranger (or even worse, somebody I know) comes up to me and says, "I read your book..."

It's Alive!

After much hard work and dedication -- mostly on the part of my favorite graphic designer and best friend Niki -- my website is now online and ready for visitors.

If you'd like to check out the novels I've written so far, you can go to juliegallagher.com, where I've posted sample chapters of Computer Games, the novel that's finished and looking for an agent, and Surface Lies, my current work-in-progress.

I'm still working on material for the "For Writer's" part of the site. Hopefully, that will be worth visiting very soon. (Suggestions for what can be included are always welcome.)

Having a website makes this all seem much more "real", ya know? I love it!

Why They Don't Sell Write-by-Number Kits

When I want to do something I've never done before, I love it when I can find a step-by-step list of instructions, written by someone with more experience, telling me exactly how to complete the project or reach the goal. This saves a lot of time otherwise wasted on trial and error. Sometimes it makes the difference between actually doing something and throwing up my hands and giving up because I don't know where to even start.

But it also occurs to me that blindly following instructions is a bit like doing paint-by-numbers. And as anybody knows who has ever completed one of those kits, no matter how carefully you fill in each tiny numbered space with the correct pre-mixed color -- the result ain't ever gonna qualify as fine art. You'll get a nice picture that looks like what it's supposed to be (especially if you stand far enough away), but nobody will ever mistake it for the work of Rembrandt.

If you want to create a work of art, you have to become an artist. You have to not only learn but understand the principles behind what you're trying to do. You have to make a thousand small choices, and you have to be able to make many of them by feel, not by rote.

It's the same with writing a novel. You can't just cobble together a bunch of elements and expect the whole to flow in a way that will engage the reader and have them cursing your name when they show up for work the next morning with bloodshot eyes, because your story kept them up half the night because they couldn't put it down.

And it's the same with marketing your work. From the query letter to the marketing campaign, the greater your understanding of what you're doing and why, the more skillful and effective you'll be.

So, even though what I hope to create eventually is a coherent how-to manual for anyone (including me) who wants to sell more books, I hope you won't follow it blindly. Put your heart into it. Just like you did when you were writing the novel in the first place.

To be really successful at something, you need to understand it. Otherwise you're relying on other people to do all your thinking for you. Or on dumb luck. Neither of which is very empowering.

I don't know about you, but I want as much control over my own destiny as I can get. When something goes wrong, I want to know not only what, but why -- and how I'm going to change things so I get the outcome I'm looking for.

Think about it...