When I started this blog, I was very excited about it. I was bursting with ideas. Then I suddenly realized something: people are going to read this. People I know, strangers -- people.
It could be argued that I knew this all along. That is, after all the point, right? It's not like it came as a surprise. More like the realization suddenly sank in. And I panicked, a bit.
My reaction could perhaps best be described as a flashback, of sorts. I've spent most of my life trying very hard to be invisible. It's how I survived my difficult childhood. But though this strategy served me well when I was a child, as an adult I have come to realize that it's holding me back. Among other things, if I react this way to doing a blog, what will happen when I finally see my very own novel in print? Will I have a complete nervous breakdown? What fun would that be?
So I'm back. If I have to keep telling myself it's okay, and make soothing little noises to myself, and eat extra ice cream and chocolate to cope, so be it. Because I'm in training. I'm taking small steps now to get ready for the day when I have to go out there and do a book tour. Preparing for the day when a total stranger (or even worse, somebody I know) comes up to me and says, "I read your book..."
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